1. Be a Student of What They are Learning

We’ve all made resolutions and set goals, but too often we fall short of what we expected to accomplish. Unfortunately it’s often the same when we try to become the Christian we really believe God has called us to be. We fall short of the goal and become increasingly discouraged. In this series, your student will learn that following Christ is more about the small steps we take every day, not about the huge leaps of faith that we think we need to make. They will set a goal, determine the first step and then make it. The series will end with a celebration!

2. Be a Student of Your Student

Many of you crave forward motion in your family. You know what you want your children to be. You want them to be kind, respectful, responsible, intelligent, creative individuals. You want them to be able to succeed when they grow up and leave your home. But sometimes you look at them and you think that it may never happen. Sometimes, between the myriad of parenting books and child-rearing philosophies, you can get lost in the “how to” of raising wonderful kids who become successful adults.

In Reggie Joiner’s Orange Parents post entitled “How to Raise a Jerk,” Joiner encourages parents in a somewhat tongue-in-cheek way about raising kids who become the adults parents want to see them grow into. Here is an excerpt from this post. To read the post in its entirety, go to http://www.orangeparents.org/how-raise-a-jerk/

Some leaders say too many who work hard at building children’s self-esteem are raising kids who will exhibit a lifestyle of entitlement and egotism. Other specialists say those who talk about children being innately bad are raising a generation that feels inferior and insignificant. Every expert has an opinion and it’s hard to know where the line actually is. Many promote their agenda by pushing the opposing opinion to the extreme.

One of the keys to parenting with balance is helping your children develop an attitude of humility. Every child has the potential to grow up and understand why it’s important to “put others first.” There is just a fine line between raising kids who have a healthy self-esteem and kids who are too egotistical. A life of arrogance that goes unchecked can result in a sad and lonely existence for someone, and frankly there are enough self-centered people around. How does someone develop an overinflated sense of self-worth and entitlement?

Here are a few ideas to help you effectively raise a jerk:

• Protect them from the consequences of their own mistakes.
• Make sure you do whatever they can do for themselves.
• Keep them away from anyone who thinks differently than they do.
• Try to give them everything they want.
• Tell them over and over again you just want them to be happy.
• Convince them that they are more special than other kids.
• Always take their side when they get in trouble with their teacher at school.
• Always take their side whenever they are in a conflict with a friend.
• Keep insisting that they are the best player on the team.
• Don’t give them consistent opportunities to help or serve other people.
• Never require them to do chores.
• Reinforce their prejudices about people from different cultures or backgrounds.
• Make your relationship with them more important than your relationship with your spouse.
• Rarely express genuine gratitude to those who help you.
• Teach them to talk more than they listen.
• Never let them hear you say, “I was wrong. I am sorry.”

Maybe you can add a few ideas of your own… on how to raise a jerk.

Whatever parenting philosophy we ascribe to, we all want to see our kids succeed. Whether it’s at school, sports, music or in the character traits they possess, we all want our kids to thrive. And the truth is, a huge part of their success is us. We set the tone for so much of their self-worth, self-understanding and self-image. So, let’s focus on being a part of the steps we want to see them take. Let’s get in the game with them and encourage their steps towards realizing the potential that God has placed inside of them.

3. Action Point

Obviously, no parent takes the advice on how to raise a jerk seriously. But what most of us do want to take seriously is the opportunity we have as parents to help our students become the best person—and eventually, the healthiest adult—they can be. We want to help them set goals and achieve them. And we want to praise them for their successes.

This month, think about helping your student make one step. Think of one new thing that you would love for your son or daughter to do. Maybe it’s to improve his or her science grade, learn how to do laundry, cook a meal or change the oil in the car. Once you have decided on one goal for your student, communicate your desire to teach this skill and let your student know why it is important to learn it. Then spend time during the month helping teach your student how to accomplish the goal.

If you want your student to improve his or her science grade, sit with him or her and study flash cards. If you want them to know how to do laundry, do a load or two together until he or she gets the hang of it. By communicating to your child why you want him or her to know or do a certain thing, you communicate respect. By spending time helping them learn, you are letting him or her know of their importance to you. You will also alleviate your child’s fear of disappointing you if they get it wrong.

The most important thing that fuels forward motion is celebration. Make sure that you celebrate your child’s step! Tell him or her that you are proud of them for working so hard or for learning something new. When your child knows that they can make you proud, they will be much more motivated to continue working on their new goal.

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org. 

We are constantly trying to find new and better ways to connect with your kids everyday. We have decided that one of the best ways to do this is through you, the parents. We are going to try something new this school year that involves you being much more active in your child’s spiritual life. Every fews week I will be sending home something we are going to call a “Parent Cue”. This will be a very important part of our ministry from now on. It will involve a summary of what we are talking about each Wednesday night. Plus an action point to help you ask your child questions relating to the current Bible study series we are doing and ways to encourage them in their walk with Christ. I am sending this next series’ parent cue early to help you get familiar with it and to ask me any questions about it before we get into the next series. I will also be posting the Parent Cue to the website www.smithwoodstudents.com if you ever lose your copy or if its more convenient for you to read it there. Thanks and I pray that this helps cultivate a better connection between you, your child, and the church. Please feel free to contact me at any time.

1. Be a Student of What They are Learning

The wonder of God is all around us. But sometimes we’re too overloaded with answers to see the beautiful mystery behind all of our questions. For the ancient Hebrews, the wonder of God was present in their very history—in the God-stories they passed from generation to generation. And when the God of those amazing stories chose to dwell within the temple—when He chose to reveal Himself to His people—that wonder was accessible to them 24/7. But God didn’t stop there. He sent His son so that the temple, the place where He chose to dwell, could move from a place to a person. Because of Jesus, we have become the temple. Because of what Jesus did, we are the tangible representation of God to the world. We are now the place—we are the way—that God chooses to intersect with the world.

2. Be a Student of Your Student

This week, your student has been walking through the Old and New Testament to get a better understanding of the temple. But not just the temple as the building where God chose to meet with His people; they have been studying and journeying through the idea of the ways that God chooses to intersect with His people—to intersect with us—and the purpose He is serving through that intersection: to bring the kingdom of heaven to Earth through us. We’ve been challenging them to think about their own role in bringing the particular elements of God’s kingdom—peace, justice, mercy—to the world around them. And in doing this, we also recognize the major role that you, as their parent, play in this.

So, in order to move into a deeper understanding of your role as an encourager of your student’s desire to be a partner with God in communicating God’s kingdom here on Earth, we are going to take a look at a roundtable discussion conducted by the Fuller Youth Institute and presented by Kara Powell entitled “Justice Hits Close to Home: A Roundtable Panel on Inviting Parents into Our Service” (http://fulleryouthinstitute.org/2007/10/justice-hits-close-to-home/).

I was midway through my Wednesday night youth group clean up routine. Working with a team of student leaders and adult volunteers, we were stowing away our sound system, stacking up chairs, and scooping up the candy wrappers and smashed paper cups that littered our youth room floor.

But then came a not-so-routine conversation, one that forever altered the way I involve parents in justice and service. Two mothers walked up to me, both of whom were concerned about their fourteen year-old sons.

The mother who reached me first shared her anxiety: “Ever since the series that you taught on missions, my son keeps saying he wants to go to Guatemala on a short-term mission trip this summer. I lay awake at night, worried that something bad will happen to him. He’s only fourteen and I’m afraid he’ll get hurt.”

The second mother, having overheard the first mom, sighed and shared one of the more convicting statements I’ve ever heard one parent share with another. “I wish that was my problem. My son doesn’t want anything to do with church or God anymore, and I think his friends are into drugs. I’d give anything to have a son who wants to serve the Lord in Guatemala this summer.”

Was the first mother wrong to be concerned about her son’s safety? Of course not, but seeking to right wrongs through acts of justice and service are always risky on some level. Perhaps the deeper issue was her hesitation about justice work in the first place. God was inviting her son to participate in the kingdom through acts of justice, but allowing her son to RSVP to that invitation felt way too uncomfortable.

As youth workers, the justice invitation we extend doesn’t stop at the in-box of the fourteen year-old. Like pretty much everything else we do in youth ministry, our impact on both the fourteen year-old and our planet will be magnified when we do the hard work of adding parents’ names to our invitation list.

Why Parents Matter: What MTV Has to Say

In 2006, MTV conducted a nationwide survey in order to understand how and why youth in America are already active in social causes. Here’s what that study found:

• Of the kids they surveyed, 70 percent say it’s important to help others in need. Only 19 percent are “very involved” in doing so.
• 62 percent say the issues that matter most to them are those that have touched them or someone they know.
• 70 percent of kids involved in activism report that their parents’ encouragement played a major factor in their choice to get involved.

In the midst of these findings, one theme emerges: Justice needs to hit kids close to home. It needs to hit close to home thematically as we help kids understand how particular injustices relate to their lives. But it also needs to hit home literally as we invite parents both to exemplify and to encourage their own kids to right wrongs around them.

3. Action Point

You as parents set the stage for the way your family views and interacts with the world. And this is especially true for your children. How you spend your money, your time, your resources—your lives—sends a clear signal to your families about what is most important to you. Throughout this series your students have been learning about their role as co-laborers with God. And what that means is that your student has an important role to play in God’s story. Just as they are. As young as they are. As silly as they are. As creative as they are. They are the exact person God wants to use to effect change in this world. And your ability and willingness to support them can give wings to their God-given desire to reach out and make a difference.

So, take a moment to dig deep and reflect on how you can support your son or daughter’s role as a co-laborer with God as you answer the following questions:

1) Where have you seen your student get fired up to serve or to impact change in their world? Maybe it’s been through a service opportunity with their youth group or a passion that was fueled after seeing a film about the needs of people half way around the world. Think about the thing that breaks your student’s heart or gets them excited. Then, think about the gifts that you have seen expressed in their lives since they were little. How can these passions and gifts come together to make change? Take some time this week to tell your student where and how you see them putting together their passions and gifts to make a difference in their world.

2) How can you encourage that desire and create opportunities through your community, work relationships, church relationships, etc.? After you have talked about the issues your student is passionate about and the gifts they possess, brainstorm some resources that you have as a family. Maybe there are people you know that are directly involved with a particular cause. Or, maybe you have the skills to navigate the Internet and make calls to get the ball rolling for your student. Think through the ways you can support your student’s involvement in God’s story of reconciliation. It may even be as simple as praying with them over the things that are close to their heart—whether it’s a global issue or a close friend who they are concerned about.

The bottom line is that when your student feels encouraged and supported by you in both word and deed, they will be able to take the amazing ideas and gifts that God has placed in them and do amazing things. And you will get to share in the joy of watching them bring God’s heavenly kingdom to Earth.

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org. 

What a great month that has just taken place at Smithwood. We just wrapped up our series Facebook Official. This whole series dealt with God’s   view of relationships. The thinking behind this series is that we are constantly overtaken by the world’s view of relationships and sex. Whether you recognize it or not, it is all around us. Tv shows, music, movies, magazines, the internet and countless other things that are giving us a distorted view of relationships. So we at Smithwood Student Ministries think it is very important that your teen hear what the Bible has to say about relationships and sex. Over the last few weeks we talked about God’s view of friendships, dating, marriage, and sex.

Coming up we will start a series entitled Identity Theft. Youth these days deal with so many questions: Who am I? Where am I going? What will I do with my life? Make no mistake about it, there are forces in this world that want to steal our reputation, our future, and even our spiritual identity. Instead of living out God’s plan for our lives, they want us to struggle to hold on to our faith. In this study we will talk about who we are and who we are meant to be. We will talk about practical ways to find yourself, find your mission, keep your faith, and hold on to Christ as we make our way from teen to adult. This is going to be an awesome study that will help each teen find their true identity in Christ instead of the things of the world.

Also don’t forget that we meet each Sunday night at 5:15 for contemporary worship called “The Stand”. This worship service is directed towards family so make every effort to worship together as a family on Sunday nights. After “The Stand” youth move to a time of learning how to share their faith without fear and the adults move into a bible study themed around the movie Courageous. There is a lot taking place for the whole family on Sunday nights at Smithwood so please make every effort to attend.

Don’t forget to check www.smithwoodstudents.com for more updates. There you can find our yearly calender, forms, resources, and much, much more. If you have any questions or comments please contact me. My email in nmiller@smithwood.org. You can also join our texting list that sends out weekly text messages. Just send your cell number to my email. Please remember to pray for our ministry as we seek to lead teenagers to Jesus!

In Him,

Nick Miller
Student Pastor
Smithwood Baptist

Upcoming Youth Events

February 29th – Small Groups Off Campus

March 16th – Winter Jam

April 27-28 Camping Trip

Areas to Serve in Youth Ministry

There is a major need for adults to get involved in the youth ministry in many ways here are a few where you can get involved:

• Chaperones for any and all events. (Winter Jam, camping, mission trips, Panama City)
• Van Drivers
• Cooks
• Small Group Leaders

If you want to get involved in anyway or want to talk about ways to get involved please contact my my phone:865-689-5448 or email: nmiller@smithwood.org

Youth Council and Leadership

We will begin meeting the 4th Sunday every month at 7pm in the youth room.

Club 180 Mission Trip: August 6th-10th

The youth and college will be heading to Club 180 in Kentucky to reconnect with this great mission opportunity. There will be a major need for adult chaperones. Please be in prayer for your involvement in this mission opportunity as we communicate to our youth the importance of missions.

There is a lot going on at Smithwood Student Ministries in the coming months. Each Wednesday night we are meeting for “Youth Unplugged” at 6:00-7:30 in the youth room. These nights consist of fellowship, games, worship, sermon, and small groups. This is an incredible night with the purpose of sharing the teachings of Jesus and how to apply them to everyday life. Currently we are doing a study called Facebook Official, where we are looking at what God says about relationships. Each Sunday we meet at 9:30am for Sunday School Small Groups. This helps your youth dive a little bit further into the Word and discover truth that can help transform your child into a true follower of Christ. Then each Sunday night, we meet for a time of worship at 5:15 called “The Stand”. This is a service designed for the whole family and is geared around contemporary worship. This is a great opportunity for you to worship with your whole family. Following this service the youth go to “Share Your Faith Classes” where we talk about sharing our faith with those we come in contact to everyday. Adults break into small groups who are currently studying through “Courageous”. A study that talks all about family and how to a courageous parent. Following “Share Your Faith” the “Worship Leadership Teams” meet to practice for Wednesday night worship. All of this ends at 7pm. As you can see there is a lot going on, so prayerful get involved and see what the Lord is going to do this year at Smithwood!

Don’t forget to check www.smithwoodstudents.com for more updates. There you can find our yearly calender, forms, resources, and much, much more. If you have any questions or comments please contact me. My email in nmiller@smithwood.org. You can also join our texting list that sends out weekly text messages. Just send your cell number to my email. Please remember to pray for our ministry as we seek to lead teenagers to Jesus!

In Him,

Nick Miller
Student Pastor
Smithwood Baptist

Weekly Teaching Series: Justice League: Part 4 – Fight Anger With Love and Grace.(4 of 4)

Biblical Passage: Ephesians 4:26,31 and Romas 12:9-18

Sermon in a Sentence: Instead of getting mad at things that truly don’t matter in the light of eternity we should use our anger to tackle thing for God.

Understandable Message: We get angry for a lot of reasons, but most of the reasons we get angry are not worth getting angry about.  We have to ask ourselves two questions:  What am I getting mad about and what am I going to do with that anger?  We can view our anger like a tea kettle warming.   As the water warms to a boil the kettle begins to steam.  We can now do two things with the water: use it for something good like hot coco or use it for something bad like throwing it on someone.  Our anger is the same way.  We should use our anger as Christ would want us to.  There are so many things in the world worthy of our anger such as homelessness, hunger, broken-heartedness, fatherlessness, and many other things.  Instead of using our anger for bad we should use it for the good of the kingdom by responding with the love of Christ.

Elements of Fun/Positive: Going outside to play football in the nice weather!

Music Playlist: Shake, Mighty to Save, You Are Holy

Favorite Moment: Wrapping up an awesome sermon series and new visitors!

Up Next: Worship Night

Weekly Teaching Series: Justice League: Fight for Authentic Community: Fight Against Broken Heartedness.(3 of 4)

Biblical Passage: Acts 9: 10-19; 26-27; 31

Sermon in a Sentence: The one thing everyone has is common is the cross and the love of Christ.

Understandable Message: There are people who are broken hearted everywhere.  There are so many things that cause this broken heartedness.  But we know that God is faithful because he is already doing work and making things new.  We are to respond to the the broken heartedness with community.  Community is inclusive where every where belongs.  But true community is only attached through Christ.

Elements of Fun/Positive: Playing a version of ping pong where we all get to play.

Music Playlist: Dance Around, Holy is the Lord, Cannons

Favorite Moment: Working together to have true community with Christ.

Up Next: The Justice League:  The Fight Anger With Love and Grace (4 of 4)

Weekly Teaching Series: Justice League: Fighting Fatherlessness With Faithfulness (2 of 4)

Biblical Passage: Isaiah 1:17, James 1:27, Psalm 68:5, Isaiah 43:1

Sermon in a Sentence: Share you heavenly father with those who don’t have a the heavenly father.

Understandable Message: God looks at you and see you as the pure creation that he made you and says you are mine and asks us to please join in with Him to show others that he is their Father too.  We all need validation and because we don’t have the right examples to follow sometime we find validation in the wrong areas.  But if we find validation in Christ and follow our fathers example we can live lives like we are called to that honor Christ.

Elements of Fun/Positive: We used an old game and put a new spin on it by using which super heros were the best.

Music Playlist: Lean on Me, All Because of Jesus, Cannons

Favorite Moment: Learning to share our father with others.

Up Next: The Justice League:  The Fight for Authentic Community (3 of 4)

Weekly Teaching Series: Justice League: Fighting Poverty with Generosity (1 of 4)

Biblical Passage: Luke 10:30-37

Sermon in a Sentence: Love your  neighbor like Christ calls us to love our neighbor.

Understandable Message: Poverty can be something that seems out of reach or a problem that is too big for us to tackle, but we can start with small things such as prayer and personal sacrifice to love our neighbor like God calls us to and fight poverty with generosity.

Elements of Fun/Positive: Had groups dress up as a super hero with random items and make up a name, powers, and how the super hero got the powers.

Music Playlist: Shake Shake, Marvelous Light, Child of Righteousness, You Are Holy

Favorite Moment: Learning that we can be heros for Christ and help fight problems that seem out of reach.

Up Next: The Justice League:  The Fight Against Fatherlessness (2 of 4)